._.

that's the best thing to describe what happened today...
told my best friend my feelings,and it LONG talk,My friends are angry with me but it is my fault (about friday night),and I think tomorrow I know it will be boring...so,what we'll start?

I told my friend about my feeling for someone I just realize I love...and hate,in the same time. @.@
I mean,HE IS ANNOYING!,and stupid,and idiot,and egoist,and childish,and he criticize EVERYONE!,and...and...he is acting like a monkey!!! >.<
I HATE HIM! but at the same time love him,I mean,I can't stop thinking about him...
and he is kinda cute...(I NEVER SAID IT!!),and he is smart but not in math,and he can be a really nice guy,and he have a really good taste in music and games,and he knows how to make people laugh,and he have a really beautiful eyes,and he understand people,and he is funny,and he....OK I need to stop!!1!!1!1
gawd...it's so bad?...I know no one read this but help would be really nice :S
cause I'm not so strong like people thinks,and if I'm not at this! I feel so scared next to him,like I want to squeeze him with love and hate >.<
I can't not look at him when he is around,and he is EVERYWHERE! and sometimes I think some people look like him,and sometimes when I say I dated someone I accidently say he's name! it's stupid and crazy! cause he hates me! my best friend says he loves me but somehow it's impossible,I feel like it can't be that he likes me,or even love me! I can't...
we had a really stupid and hard time together,we were best friends,and next we fought all the time,and then he thinks I did something that I didn't do (he used every friend of his to "defeat" me) and he doesn't believe me,and then I fall in love with him...WTF?!
it's stupid! so help,please give me some...

now,another topic...
dolev didn't came to school today,I think it's because of me...it is my fault,I needed to tell anton that I don't want him,and tim as well!
it's stupid and childish of me,and next time I'll see them,I'll tell them...
somehow...it will be hard :S
but I love those girls,so I won't make any guy to take them away! ^w^
but i'll change it,and that's it!

tomorrow will be SO boring,
It's like a free day tomorrow...nothing happened in that day :X
but I don't really like that day... except math, because me and my best friend in the same class,and I always get 100 :D
but tuesday will be SO boring!! there where really NOTHING happens!
maybe i'll be in the library and blog some more :P
it's pretty funny that I actually like blogging here...even when the layout pretty bad,but cute...

so goodnight and sweet dreams~

Forgot

LOL,I forgot that I have a blogspot,but I see I won't really use it :S
it was a tough week...and annoying one...
my Friday(of last week) was terrible!
that how it happen: slept with my friend's house,it was fun :D
she had a birthday in Sunday of this week so I slept over (today i'll sleep in her house again) so we went to meet some friends,and those friends called them selfs "The Russians",maybe because they ARE Russians. Oo
anywho,at first they were only 4 people,a couple (girl and a boy) that they were for like 5 seconds,and 2 boys that one of them is really but REALLY coward! I mean he is afraid of ANYTHING! next to him,I was the man @.@
and,he was starting with me (after 2 days I got it that he was starting with me...I'm a really slow person) and one of my friends likes him so she got joules! it was terrible! I didn't mean it and she knew,I got a boyfriend,and I don't need another one thank you.
so it was 4 of us,me,my friend called Chen(but I call her Nils),Anton(the coward person),and Vetas (Nils's boyfriend).
in a few minutes another group of four and then allot more people came.
in the end there was pretty allot people and few of them were alex(my polar bear),Valer(I HATE HIM!!!!),Tim(someone really annoying),Maya(my sweet friend),Tal(my best friend),Dolev (my friend),and some that I don't remember their names @.@
anyway,Tim started with me as well,and nils likes him so it was pretty annoying,she asked me all the time if I like him and I like "NO! AND NEVER WILL!!!111!1!" in an angry way. :S
and yes,nils have a boyfriend and like somebody else,stupid? indeed,but I'm in the same way.
liking someone else but with someone else...but I do lil like my boyfriend.(and he knows that I like somebody else) <3
anyway,two boys that my friends like started with me,my best friend was upset,and that's it...

THIS Friday:
WOW...another weird night @.@
first,few boys did it with a balloon (that look like Hitler) XD
and then allot of people in such a small place ._.
and then I was only in Nils room,because it was so cold! and allot of people came and go...
Anton still started with me,and very time when I was sitting or sleeping next to another boy he was REALLY down :X
Tim,was pretty nice,I mean NICE,he helped me,and when he saw that I was cold he tried to help me to warm me :3
Ilia(ex-boyfriend of Maya) was drunk so he started with me when he was drunk... @.@
my best friend was mad at me AGAIN because she though that I started with someone she likes (and then I got mad) =.=
anyway,it was FUN! no way that I look at it,it was fun :D
and so,that's pretty the night I had :3

thank you for reading,and goodnight.